Fangirl Musings

Donald Miller and Susan Isaacs

2009-10-26T13:39:00.003-04:00

Last Thursday I went to see Donald Miller and Susan Isaacs at the NYC show on their "Million Miles Tour"

I had devoured both books fairly quickly - I knew I would Don's as I loved "Blue Like Jazz" and "Through Painted Deserts", but Susan's was a surprise.

Based on a ton of blogosphere recommendations, I downloaded the sample of "Angry Conversations with God" to my kindle, and then forgot about it. A few weeks later, when I was between fantasy novels and thinking it might be time to read something more spiritual, I found the sample and read it. A few minutes later I bought the book. Then less than twenty four hours later, counting work and train trips, it was finished.

I was with her through almost every situation in the book, though perhaps not to the same extent, until the very end when she ended up happily married. Lauren Winner did the same thing to me! Ah well, good for you, girls :)

Susan was fantastic in person, the way she brought the various situations in the book to life, including the accents, had me laughing out load. One of my favorite bits from the show, as from the book is the quote (and it's probably not word for word, as I'm too lazy to go find it on the kindle) "Christian men don't date. They've all read that book. 'Kiss My Dating Ass Goodbye'."

I didn't have a chance to meet her, the line was very long and I had to go, so hopefully next time!

Donald's book "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years" I also read in a twenty four hours period. It lived up to all I'd been reading about the past few months, and spoke to me on several levels - first as a writer how the art of story works. I'm going to be chanting "A character who wants something and overcomes conflict to get it." the entire month of November.

I loved also the parallels between writing a story, and living the story that God has written. It's fun to think of myself as a character, and to try getting out there and not being afraid of conflict.

Don was awesome in person as well. He had me at his first line "Welcome to Hogwarts." We were in this old very Englishy Episcopal church down in the village.
Before he spoke we had a video presentation on his ministry "The Mentoring Project", which is partnering with world vision, and there was a call for volunteers to sponsor a world vision child and also give to mentoring project as a package deal.

So I volunteered. Because, you know, when you've been feeling like you haven't been giving enough lately, and also slightly guilty about buying a third computer, and a cute and funny guy asks you donate for his project, how can you say no? Plus I got a hug out of it later. :) So I am now sponsoring a young boy from Brazil. I've done it before and it was a great experience, so I am excited.

Don talked about some of the funniest bits of the book, as well as the art of writing a story. My favorite line (and again this is a spotty memory quote), when discussing how the character's conflict needs to be something we care about, preferably a matter of life and death, "Frodo has to take the ring to the Temple of Doom and kill Darth Vader before the last Star Trek planet is destroyed."

He also talked about when "Blue Like Jazz" was first out, going to local book stores and moving his books over to the best seller rack. He then suggested we help with that, and move Dan Brown aside for him. Dude, anytime!

After the talks those of us who had signed up for World Vision were invited back to meet Don before the rest of the people who could line up for autographs. I think I conducted myself with slightly more poise than when i got my picture taken with Jason Momoa, but only just. (Plus there was no dressed up stuffed bear this time) I told him I had the book on kindle, and I was not going to let him sign that, but that I loved it on both levels, like I wrote above. I also then said something silly like he would bring me luck for NaNoWrimo (I was wearing my new hoodie). And I got a hug. Did I mention that?

All in all, two great books and an enjoyable evening, and I highly recommend all three!

Suffering

2009-07-02T14:29:00.002-04:00

Life is good. Seriously good. It's one of those times where I have so much going on that I have to pick and choose what I have time to do. Writer's groups, book clubs, music and dancing, learning new skills like knitting and sewing, workshops at church - I just took training to be a small group leader, which was surprisingly exciting. I met with one of the group organizers last week for coffee and she asked me how I was planning to fit leading a group into my schedule. Hmmmm. Now if it would just stop raining so that I can go to the beach.

Work is good - busy and frustrating at times, but not overwhelming, especially when I hear about other people's jobs, and considering that so many people here in NY are losing their jobs, I really can't complain. Not that that stops me, all that much ;) I've got two trips coming up this summer that have been (mostly) paid for, and a friend coming to visit me for a week in between.

So. Life is good. And that's what scares me. I've been reading and hearing much lately that points to the fact that spiritual growth comes through suffering. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away, dark nights of the soul, and so on.

I don't want to suffer. I want my life to stay good. But I also want to grow. I want to have my cake and eat it too, so to speak, but not sure if that is possible. And so I'm half waiting for something horrible to happen, and if it doesn't, is that a good sign, or a bad one?

Book Review: Christ the Lord, Out of Egypt

2009-04-28T14:10:00.002-04:00

I borrowed this book from a friend because I was curious. I'd read "Interview with a Vampire" ages ago and was not overly impressed, but then I read Anne Rice's 'reconversion' story in I think Newsweek, and was fascinated.

I really liked the book. From a religious viewpoint, it's quite an interesting question the book dives into - what was it like for the child Jesus to grow up, being fully God, but yet fully a child that had to go through all the mess of childhood?

Being a science fiction and fantasy reader, I also saw a quite a few parallels with your typical fantasy hero, who grows up in a fairly low position in society, has something 'special' about him that he can't quite figure out, until he discovers his magic, power, talent, etc, and adventures ensue. In some of the early chapters, Jesus brings a dead child back to life, after accidently killing him, brings clay sparrows to life, and discovers that when he tells the rain to stop, it stops.

At the same time I was reading this, I was also reading a fantasy series exactly like that, where the hero discovers in the second book that as well as human he is part of another race entirely, and as such has all these talents and powers that need to be awakened, so he can then save the world. The character even undergoes a baptism of sorts, when he is immersed in a pool for several days to cleanse himself of a serious addiction.

The parallels between the two books remind me of what Tim Keller said in a sermon about why we like fantasy. (Those of us that do like fantasy, that is, I suppose. Which would be me.) We're looking for that hero, the knight in shining armor that will come and save the world and defeat the forces of evil. Who is, of course, Jesus.

I liked the characterization of Mary as well, but had a bit of issue with the Roman Catholic theology inserted that she remained a virgin always and never had any children with Joseph. Rice makes James the older son of Joseph from a previous marriage, which I assume is also taught, but bugged me since there is no mention of another child in the Christmas story. The details are so carefully recorded, and if Joseph had to drag his nine months pregnant wife down to Bethlehem to be counted, surely he would have had to take his son as well? But there's no mention of anyone else being with them.

Those details don't ruin the fantasy of the story, however, and I've placed the next book, as well as Anne Rice's biography on my wish list.

The Year Thus Far

2009-04-12T13:04:00.002-04:00

As I break my Lenten fast with french toast and canadian bacon - yum! on Easter morning, seems like a good time to update this sadly neglected blog. I don't have to be at church till 5PM, going to attend that service before ushering at 7:15PM, so am having a leisurely easter morning/afternoon eating and listening to the Messiah on my ipod. Contemplating a bike ride also, but it looks rather cold and windy out there, so we shall see.

I've been spending way too much time on Facebook - its short soundbytes are addictive, and the amusing mix of internet friends, real life here and now friends, and high school people whom I didn't think even liked me back then but now are friending me, is interesting also. Talk about various worlds colliding!

So what's been doing with me? I see the last time I posted here was right before I went to England in January. England was awesome as usual, and Wales even more so. Pics are here, and Travelog here.

Sewing - I have successfully completed another pair of boxer shorts, and a baby blanket. Next attempt will be a skirt for summer. Because I am a glutton for punishment, I've also taken up knitting. So far I have made something that can only be described as a "thingie", which is being worn by one of my teddy bears. Am now on my fourth attempt to start a hat, which might be ready for next winter. If nothing else my fourteen inch bamboo knitting needles will be useful in defense against vampires.

Reading - I really really want a kindle, but have promised myself I will not get one until I get to the bottom of my to read basket, so am reading as fast as I can. Aside from an excellent fantasy novel, I'm in the middle of "Christ the Lord" by Anne Rice. I've never been much of an Anne Rice fan, read "Interview with a Vampire" ages ago and wasn't too impressed, but her story fascinates me. The book is very interesting so far. The Roman Catholic bent is pretty obvious, especially in the characterization of Mary and Joseph, but her Jesus makes sense - I've often wondered what it was like for him being God and child together, to grow up.

And with that I think I will attempt a bike ride after all.

Happy Easter, everyone!!

Vacation!

2009-01-10T13:25:00.003-05:00

I am officially on vacation! And it is snowing. My car is all snug in the garage, and as long as the runways at JFK are clear by Monday evening, it can storm its little heart out.

I'm getting my stuff together for a trip to Wales and England starting the aforementioned Monday evening, and right now am doing one of the most fun tasks - deciding which books to bring. I am allowed only one fiction and one non-fiction because there is a serious raid on bookstores in Cardiff and London being planned.

I think i have settled on "When True Night Falls" by CS Friedman for the fiction, being the second in a series I started in Hungary. But I also have the second Otherland book by Tad Williams. The Friedman is thicker than the Williams - Imagine anything being thicker than a Tad Williams?? - and I read the first one earlier so really should stay in order.

Right, on to non-fic, I am settling I think on a book on Frances of Assisi in a spiritual classics series, but I also have two others in the same series that look good. Might have to just close my eyes and point.

My goal is to pack everything into two small bags rather than the big one, as will be easier for getting on and off trains and such, and plus I am trying to learn to pack light. The next debate will be on which sweaters to bring as I am only allowing myself two, but I won't bore you with that one!

Off to ~~play~~ do laundry in the snow, and then a fun time of dancing and music in the city is being planned, Lord and LIRR willing.

New Years Day, 2009

2009-01-01T21:04:00.002-05:00

It's official. The year of no clothes shopping has ended. As I started the new year off with a very light day of work - only five patients, I headed straight out to the Island, first to Panera, where I had the tomato soup that I got hooked on during NaNoWriMo, and then to EMS where I broke my fast in style.

First I bought the thing I needed most since early fall - a new raincoat. My old one, which you can ring water out of, is now in the trash.

Waterproof, breathable, and not in a girly pastel color!

Next I bought a soft shell to go with it:

It's darker than it looks.

And not clothes but I needed a new travel wallet:

Then I came home and went online on Title Nine and bought a pair of pants, a tee shirt and two pairs of socks. Now I am all set for the rest of winter and my trip to Britain in two weeks.

I bagged for the thrift shop at my parents' church:

1 pair cords, a sweater, two fleece jackets and a shirt I never really liked and only wore I think once. As well as the old rain coat I pitched my old travel wallet which was all dirty and never fit my passport properly anyway.

What I learned from this past year:

1. I don't really like clothes shopping. It didn't leave much of a void, if any. And if there was it filled very very quickly.

2. I'd rather have one shirt I abolutely love than ten cheap ones I don't really like.

3. two pairs of jeans are enough.

4. when i find something I really do love, I don't need to go buy four more.

5. sewing is fun. I hope to eventually move on to things that can be worn out of the house, but at the very least I will never have to buy pajamas again.

That's about all I can think of at the moment!

Throwing away the scale

2008-11-30T13:43:00.002-05:00

Now that nanowrimo is over, well almost over, there are still almost twelve hours to go. I've not written in my novel for a couple of day but i do plan to go out with a bang later after church by hanging out in the nano chat room and cheering on my fellow writers till midnight, and maybe getting another thousand or two words in before the deadline as well.

But this blog post is not supposed to be about fiction writing, or my future plans for that which are bouncing through my head, distracting me as we speak. I had resolved that once nano was over I would try to write a blog post a week, that is not a copy paste from my live journal, most likely on sundry mornings (*cough* afternoon) because that's my generally calm and quiet time, sitting around the house in pajamas, drinking coffee, and just puttering. A 7:15PM church service is a beautiful thing. I figure if I could pound out 50 thousand words of drivel disguised as fiction (and many scenes of people drinking coffee, or tea, or debating the relative merits of coffee versus tea - I think I should just call next year's novel 'Scenes from a Starbucks' and have done.) then I can pound out a few hundred words of blog post a week, surely? Though the blog will not be immune from coffee references, because coffee is love. Especially with pumpkin spice creamer.

Mixed up in my nano notes in the notebook I've been carrying around since mid October are lots of little ideas for blog posts, and the challenge today is to try not to cram them all in to one, because I am in the mood to write something not related to adventures on the moon, the coffee is flowing (see?), it's raining and I have the house to myself.

No. Must stay on track. Yes.

Right, so today's blog post will be about idols.

I've been reading and hearing quite a bit lately about idols - in books, sermons, podcasts, etc. When I think of idols, the first thing that pops into my head is a silly statue, like the falling fish god, the golden calf, or Jabu in the movie 'Major League' who gets offering of rum, cigars, and Kentucky Fried Chicken. And I always think, so self righteously, how could anyone be so stupid as to worship something like that?

Of course, we wouldn't. Two thousand plus years after Bible times our idols have become way more sophisticated.

If this year of no clothes shopping has taught me anything, it's that clothes are not my issue. Finishing my eleventh month of no clothes shopping today, I still don't really feel it. I wonder where on earth I found the time to go shopping for clothes, and I'm not really looking forward to resuming it. I could almost go another year, except that I really need a new raincoat, one that does not absorb water. Did you know Gortex wears out? Apparently after a few years, it does. And proper running shoes, from the store where they watch you run on the treadmill and look at your old shoes to see where you wear them out... But this post was not supposed to be about clothes.

My idol is the scale. I decided this after about two years now of weighing and recording, obsessing about numbers changing, counting and recording points, trying to hyper organize everything I eat in one day, blowing it, feeling guilty, and then blowing it some more. And then last year, trying to fit training into the mix, calculate how many points I exercised and need to replace, so as to not pass out during a workout, which would be bad. Discovering the the weight watchers site has no clue about energy bars and sports gels and drinks didn't help.

So I threw out my scale. Well, actually i didn't because I would feel guilty throwing out a perfectly good appliance. It, they actually, are in the top of my closet, if anyone would like them. I have one old fashioned and one digital that supposedly also calculates body fat and percentage of water. I have decided to accept my body as it is. I'm not *really* overweight. I did a triathlon this year, for crying out loud. Okay, it took me four and a half hours, but still. And with no new clothes, everything still fits from this time last year.

I had a wonderful time this past month with all the write-ins, making healthy choices as best I could from the menus at Panera and Cosi, and then indulging a little bit if I wanted to, to reward myself for my word count. I'm also having fun experimenting with cooking, and continuing my training, which are other blog posts.

so I shall leave you with a picture of my thanksgiving leftovers, and go make pancakes. And perhaps catch up on the blogs I've not read all month. My rss reader just might be about to explode...

For the win!

2008-11-25T23:01:00.002-05:00

And now to get back to my Thanksgiving preparations!

Today I thank God for:

2008-11-20T14:29:00.002-05:00

-tissues
-Blistex
- Chicken soup
-NyQuil

*wanders off to drink more fluids*

Advent!

2008-11-16T13:15:00.002-05:00

Taking a short break from NaNoWriMo to celebrate the first day of ADvent, which according to my prayer book, Celtic Daily Prayer, starts today. Celtic advent is the forty days before Christmas, matching the forty days in the liturgical year of Lent from Ash Wednesday to Easter.

From the book: Advent is traditionally a time of preparation for Christmas. It is said that the door to the stable where the Christ-child has been born is very low - only those who kneel find access. being ready for Christmas should mean that our thoughts are focused on not just letters, cards, and presents, but on repentance, humbling and interior 'housecleaning'. John the Baptist warned his hearer to prepare a way for the Lord - to make a clear and level pathway. This involves removing any boulders that stand in the way, and filling in any potholes. The boulders are the things we have done that we should not have done; the potholes are the things we have failed to do which we obviously should have done. The more, as individuals, family or congregation, we are focused in this way, the less we will be overwhelmed by the commercialization of Christmas.

For this advent season, I am reading Forty Days of Living the Jesus Creed, by Scot McKnight, in part because I got it for my birthday and don't want to to save it till spring.

I'm also taking some more steps against the commericalization and frenzy of Christmas by not sending Christmas cards, or gifts outside of small ones for my immediate family. Instead throughout the new year I intend to be more vigilant about remembering people's birthdays (If they want them remembered that is!) And this year I am using the money I would have spent shopping on buying clean drinking water. Everyone should drink more water.

Join me at The Advent Conspiracy!

And now to head off to the city to get some writing done - 31k words and counting :)

NaNoWriMo time!

2008-11-02T23:57:00.002-05:00

I know it's been about a month since I posted last. I had resolved to start writing a blog post a week. The best laid plans... I have about three half finished posts in my notebook, so if I get bored or am in procrastination mode, we'll see what happens.

Otherise this month is reserved for NaNoWriMo!

Here is my widget so you can follow my progress:

Now back to writing.

Renovare "Life With God" Conference

2008-10-06T20:21:00.000-04:00

Spent the weekend in Houston at the Renovare "Life with God" conference. I had an amazing time, and learned enough to keep me thinking for about a year. Also the books I bought will keep me busy for quite awhile - see the last post for a pic of the books.

I am sitting here at the airport waiting for my flight and sipping a sugar free nonfat mocha, and eating a carrot muffin to make up for it. There is no free internet to distract me, so I thought i would type up some of the thoughts from my notes for posting later.

I can't do justice to any of the speakers, so just a couple of bytes from each of them on how they affected me.

Dallas Willard: I've heard much about this man, quotes from various other books that I've read, but I confess I've never actually read anything by him. I also confess that I didn't not buy any of his books this time either, as I was already trying to figure out how I was going to pack what I bought, but there is always Amazon later. The main things I took away from his presentation are that emphasis needs to be on what type of person I am becoming, and then routine easy obedience will come. In other words the emphasis on character transformation rather than behavior modification. Of course it took nearly two hours to unpack those points, so for more I recommend the cd!

John Ortberg: I really liked his way of speaking and need to see if his church does sermon podcasts. Of course him starting off with a Monty Python joke didn't hurt! He made the point that modern evangelism reduces the gospel to the minimum entrance requirements to heaven, and as an example compared the entrance to Heaven to the bridge at the end of the holy grail where the characters just have to have the right answer to get across, whereas if they don't, they plunge down into the chasm. He compared being an admirer of Jesus to being a follower of Jesus, and brought out the point that our core beliefs are not necessarily what we say, but are demonstrated by our actions, how we respond to certain situations, etc.

Chris Webb: A Welshman who likes books! (I stole that quote from Larissa. *waves*). Chris is the new president of Renovare, an Anglican priest, and absolutely delightful. He dressed in a monk's habit on Saturday for the feast day of St Francis, and introduced himself first as a Jedi Knight. I wanted to ask him if he had heard of the Jedi Chefs, but didn't get the chance. We took his workshop on Friday on reading the spiritual classics. He explained a bit about the process of Lectio Divina, and that we should read classics "not as we read John Grisham" (which in my case would be Tad Williams, Carol Berg, Stephen Booth, etc) but slowly and relationally. The purpose of the classics, and indeed the Bible, is not to give us entertainment or information, but to draw us into the presence of God. He gave us a lovely reading list which is going to make my wishlist explode.

Lauren Winner: Lauren is exactly how I pictured her, in a good way! She started off by saying that she was intimidated by sharing the stage with people like Richard Foster and Dallas Willard, but if Sarah Palin could share a podium with Joe Biden then she could do it. She said she tried to get her hair in an upsweep which didn't work, but she thinks her glasses are cooler than Sarah's. (I agree). Her talk was on the Trinity, which was very deep. What I took away was her illustration of Jesus' baptism as a trinitarian event - Jesus of course being present, the father's voice from above, and the spirit in the form of a dove (hey that rhymes!) all converging, so to speak in one place. She also had the criticism that many churches in America are functionally unitarian - emphasizing one aspect of the trinity over the other two.

After Lauren's talk we had an evensong service, which was a really nice end to the day, considering how much I had swimming around in my head, the periods of silence were especially welcome.

Saturday started with

Ron Sider: who gave a talk on social activism, and how the good news of the Kingdom of God does not end with salvation.

Todd Hunter: I took Todd's workshop on spiritual formation as the new evangelism. He started out by talking about how the culture has changed, the church and Christians no longer get automatic respect, and actually more the opposite. Coming from NYC, nothing he said was new or shocking to me, but I could tell it was to those around me. His main point was that the only tool of evangelism that will work is the authentic lives of Christians.

Richard Foster: was the last speaker, and I didn't take any notes during his presentation as he had given us an incredibly detailed outline in our packets. He has a ponytail down to his waist! Gorgeous, actually. Chris Webb teased him that he had been growing it since he was called to minister to the Woodstock generation, and the complained that no one ever asks him about his hair (Chris has crewcut shorter than my brother's). Richard is a powerful presence, strong and yet gentle, with a terrific sense of humor including about himself. He spoke on the importance of spiritual formation, sort of summing up what all the others had been talking about all weekend, and then we had a time where all the leaders prayed for us.

The conference as a whole was wonderful and I will definitely go to another - I wish they'd have some closer to home! Now, I need to decide which book to start...

Renovare Conference

2008-10-05T00:03:00.003-04:00

Just finished the Renovare conference here in Houston Texas. I have tons of notes to type up, not that I could do anything justice, but I will not be doing that tonite. Maybe tomorrow as I wait for the SuperShuttle to take me to the airport.

Tonite I will leave you with two pictures that sort of sum up my weekend.

A few books managed to find their way into my bag....

And a statue of St Francis, in a Presbyterian church garden!

Calvin was green - who knew?

2008-09-14T14:12:00.003-04:00

Despite the 87 degrees and much humidity here today, summer is officially over. This week I put away my beach things and did my best to wrap up some summer reading projects. I say did my best because there are still about 13 books on my to read pile.

Anyway, since I am in the process of joining a church which is essentially Calvinist, I figured it was high time that I read Calvin's "Institutes of the Christian Religion" for myself and see what the man really had to say. I tried to read with an open mind, but as I expected I did find a few points of disagreement, which I won't go into here as they are debated to death elsewhere.

I also found a few surprises, such as this quote from Part 9, chapter 10: So Paul, with good reason, urges us to use this world without abusing it, and to buy possessions as if we were selling them (I Cor 7:30-31).

Of course Calvin probably would not have known what carbon was (when were the elements discovered, anyway?) much less a carbon footprint, but this sounds suspiciously like take good care of the planet to me.

I also was surprised to find a passage with basically says it's ok to enjoy the pleasures of creation. If we think out the reason for the creation of food, we will realise that it was not only for necessity, but for our enjoyment and delight. So with clothing, the purpose was not only for necessity but beauty and honour. ... If this was not so, the Psalmist would not list among God's mercies, 'wine that gladdens the heart of man, oil to make his face shine' (Ps. 104:15).

Of course he also points out the dangers of taking enjoyment to excess, which I agree with, but it's nice to see that the concepts of enjoying and taking care of God's creation are not new.

2008-08-28T22:55:00.000-04:00

I had many ambitious plans for today, and ended up getting through about half of my list. Two doctor's apts (I'll spare you squicky details, but everything's fine) took longer than I thought, and I ended up almost finishing my book in the waiting rooms, So naturally I had to go to Starbucks to finish it before I came home. Plus it was after 3 and I'd had no coffee yet! Or food for that matter. So, Starbucks, grocery store and by the time I got home, I might as well have been at Ork.

Did manage to get four loads of laundry done, as well as going though my dresser and closet and ruthlessly getting rid of anything I've not worn all summer.

Ronon Bear supervises The Great Clothing Purge

All packed up! 5 bags.

I had wanted to clean and bake cookies, but by now was after 8. So cookies will be baked tomorrow, and as for cleaning.... I'll negotiate with the dust bunnies to hide when my company arrives on Sat! Or perhaps TehJerry will feel a compulsion to clean tomorrow. That's a better plan.

I did however make a healthy dinner.

Now to shower and decide which book I will start next.

Birthdays and such

2008-08-17T22:24:00.001-04:00

Today is my 39th birthday. For real. For the first time!
And so, you get picspam :)

Pressies before

And there was cake. Apparently I am 12...

Michael Phelps broke the record on my birthday!

Pressies after

Bonus pic: a butterfly on mom's butterfly bush

There were the best, but more piccies are here

Time

2008-08-02T12:11:00.000-04:00

Time.

There's never enough of it to do everything that I want. And work too. But I have to work in order to have the money to do the things that I want to do, so quitting my job to have more time is not an option. Perhaps when I'm a best selling novelist - sometime in the 30th century...

Everyone has seen the movie "Groundhog Day", in which a man gets stuck in a time loop- playing out the same day over and over again. Pretty much every scifi show worth its salt has an episode with a similar theme - Star Trek, X-Files, Stargate.

My favorite (though XF's 'Mulder in the wet pajamas' runs a close second) is the Stargate version. Several loops of the same day have passed for Jack when Daniel tells him he has a unique opportunity, He can do whatever he wants for as long as he wants, with no consequences, because everything will go back to the way it was when the loops begins again. Except for him. Jack takes advantage of this. He learns pottery, perfects his golf shot (through the Stargate), teaches Teal'c to juggle, rides his bike through the SGC, and resigns so he can finally kiss Sam. *g*

What would you do if you were stuck in a time loop? With unlimited time on my hands, I'd become that best selling novelist, champion tin whistle player and step dancer, win a triathlon, hike the whole world (though travel might be a logistical problem if I'm stuck in the same day. Hmm.) Memorize the Bible in several translation. Heck, learn Greek and Hebrew and translate my own. Sew my own complete wardrobe, catch up on all the tv shows I've not seen, and read all the books on my wish list and then some.

Maybe that's what heaven will be like - stuck in the same perfect day forever, with unlimited things to do.

Progress, or lack thereof...

2008-07-22T20:15:00.003-04:00

I just got back from vacation. Technically I'm still on vacation, as I don't go back to work until tomorrow, and I am writing this at the beach. Today is the perfect beach day - the air is warm, the sky is blue, and the water not too rough. Also I found a log to put my blanket over so I have something to lean on while I read and write.

I love the beach. Really love it. Perhaps too much. And there's no other place that I'd rather be in the summer. Which is probably why I did not have as good a time on my vacation as I could have.

Don't get me wrong, i had a blast. Traveling in Europe with some very good friends, what could be better? But my cranky self focus kept rearing its ugly head and showing me what I'm still really like inside. If things weren't perfect for my wants and schedule - too much food, too little food, too little exercise, too little caffeine at the right time, and I got, well let's just say it - bitchy.

Just when I think I'm doing great, remove me from my comfort zone, and blam. I can't beat my selfishness into submission, the Holy Spirit has to do that, and it's just not happening according to my schedule. Which just proves the whole point again of how far I have to go. It's not about my schedule, at all.

Part of the blessing of the single life is to be able to do pretty much whatever you want whenever you want. Which makes it difficult, however when thrust into a group 24/7, to learn to accommodate others.

I think one of the things I need to work on when traveling with others is finding ways to carve out more quiet time for myself... any suggestions?

Thanks for listening to my ramblings, and if anyone would like to see my vacation pictures, they are here.

2008-07-08T12:34:00.001-04:00

The internet monk today has a good post on Bible translations. Anyone who's been in a Bible study with me knows that although I have many Bibles, for reading I adore the Message.

In other news, I'm off to Hungary for ten days :) As soon as I finish breakfast.

2008-07-01T21:54:00.002-04:00

So I added a blogroll. Looks a bit... overwhelming. Wonder if I can make it smaller?

In other news I finally finished transcribing the last meeting I was responsible for at old church. It was pretty painful, and while listening to the meeting I worked on my application for membership at new church. Both have been sent away, which was the goal to get all finished and done before my trip.

Also spent 45 minutes driving around trying to find a verizon store, unsuccessfully. Came home and checked the net, found there was a store in one of the shopping centers I drove past, and I didn't see it. So will go back tomorrow. According to the site, I'm due for a free phone and it looks like one of the free ones can have global activated. w00t!

2008-06-27T21:45:00.002-04:00

Wow it's been exactly a month since I updated last! How did that happen? So let's see, what has happened in the past month?

1. Exercise: tho not at the level I was toward the end of the triathlon training, I'm trying to keep up with fitness, getting in a least one bike, one run, and one swim per week. Also taking an open water swim workshop Sunday, which should be fun.

2. Church: Took the plunge and the membership seminar at my new church last Saturday. Now I need to fill out the application. It has essay questions, so might take awhile. I hope to have it finished and submitted before I leave for Hungary. Also registered for a conference hosted by Renovare in October. Richard Foster and Lauren Winner will both be there, so I am very excited! ~~even tho it means I'm going back to Texas...~~

3. VACATION!: My friend from Kansas City, Kansas City arrives on the 5th, and we leave for Hungary on the 8th. Much cheese will be consumed. And perhaps other things.

4. Sewing: My brother made me a board that fits over my bed for cutting and pinning fabric, and fits just between my storage chest and closet. The other day I finally got the machine out again, and I made a napkin! The material is a bit thick, so the margins are as well, but it might look a little better once washed and ironed. Now I need to make a second one so my bro and I have one each, so as to dispense with paper napkins. Which leads me to-

5. Greenness: Alas my patient area keeps expanding so I am driving more not less. Fortunately my new car gets good mileage. I'm pretty good with remembering a commuter cup for getting coffee, but my main challenge is remembering to get the tote bags out of the back of the car *before* going into the grocery store. Remembering when I am at the checkout is fairly useless. Have been trying to use the AC as little as possible, unless it's *really* hot.

6. No clothes shopping: Still not really feeling it, and interestingly enough when I do think about new clothes, it's usually athletic gear I'm thinking of. Also strange, you'd think I'd have more time on my hands with no shopping? Dunno where it goes...

7. Writing: Had my first "workshopping" at my writer's group, which went really well. I still need to finish my first draft, but am starting to plan the second draft in my head.

Ok I think that's enough for now. I'll leave you with a quote from CS Lewis:

"Humility is not thinking less of one's self, but thinking of one's self less."

Talk amongst yourselves ;)

I'm a Triathlete!

2008-05-27T21:49:00.002-04:00

I haven't been posting much about the triathlon training here, most has been going to LiveJournal. BUt, in any event - it's over, and I have officially completed the Capital of Texas Triathlon - my first! I say first, b/c now I've got the bug and there will be a second.

If anyone wishes to read the long drawn out story of my weekend, and my race report, please go here.

Anyone who wishes to just skip straight to the pictures, please go here.

Of course everyone is free to do both :)

Brother Ted enjoys his new prayer rope

2008-05-03T21:36:00.000-04:00

No Clothes Shopping Update

2008-04-27T23:51:00.003-04:00

This week I'll enter into my fifth month of no clothes shopping, so I'm almost halfway through. I'm wondering if the second half will be more difficult, as so far I'm not really feeling anything. Catalogs go straight to the recycle pile, I barely glance at the windows when I walk past shops, and when I do I'm generally apathetic about the stuff in the windows. I'm looking forward to having more time to experiment with sewing after the triathlon.

to recap- since January first I've purchased:

- one pair of capri running tights, in London (after nearly passing out in fleece lined ones at almost 50 degrees in York)

- one pair of $5 thongs (the shoe version) at Target, for swim training

- one souvenir tee shirt at the Comhaltas convention - half price and just as dude was ready to pack up on Sunday.

And that's it :)

The Way of the Monk

2008-04-27T15:13:00.002-04:00

Yesterday I went to a workshop sponsored by my church called "The Way of the Monk". We learned about several things I've been experimenting on my own with for the past couple years, namely centering prayer, praying with a prayer rope, and the divine hours - chanting the psalms.

It was very cool to finally try some of these things with other people, as I'm never quite sure if I'm doing something right when I'm following instruction from a book. Nothing covered was really new to me, which I think was good, as I could get straight to practically learning/improving.

After a brief introduction to the monastic orders and general way of life, we attempted centering prayer. We were instructed to remove our shoes (something I never have to be told twice - hate wearing shoes when sitting around, and the room was lovely with lots of rugs), and sit on the floor in a comfortable position but with a straight back. I have issues with the whole posture thing, so I cheated a wee bit by leaning up against a couch.

A helpful hint from the instructor was to use a timer. Otherwise compulsive types like me tend to be opening eyes to check clock every thirteen seconds. I was happy to learn when I got home that the watch I bought for the triathlon has a timer, with lights and lovely little bell. She also gave out "very powerful prayer tools" - earplugs! I've used earplugs for awhile, but generally to deal with snoring roommates on the road, never thought about using them for prayer. Makes sense tho - blocking out trains, traffic, dogs, my brother's radio in the other room (especially if the Whiners are on).

We started with six minutes, and it went rather well. After a few people discussed their experiences and we took a break. I wrote down the phrase and some stuff that came to mind in my notebook, but I don't think I will type it here. Suffice it to say that it was a good experience.

The next thing we played with, and I'll say played with because time was running short so we had no time to really experiment with them, was prayer ropes. I'd read about these in a couple places, and wanted one for awhile, but couldn't find one. I got a nice dark green one that is currently gracing the neck of Brother Ted (the monk bear I bought at Whitby Abbey). The instructor suggested as a use for them intercessory prayer, with each knot representing a person, and pray "Lord have mercy on so and so", which pretty much covers everything. I tried it this morning, and was amazed at what names came to mind.

The third thing we tried was the divine hours - chanting psalms. Was very cool. Half of the room faced the other, and sang the first couplet and then the other side of the room sang the second and so on, back and forth at each other. Absolutely gorgeous.

I signed up for both interest in starting a group to pray contemplatively, and interest in going on a retreat. So am very excited to see what happens next!

wetsuit!!

2008-04-18T20:22:00.001-04:00

Picked up my wetsuit yesterday :) Then went immediately down to the village for Thai food with my fellowship group. One of the ladies in the group does restaurant promotions, and this was one of the places she's promoting. Which meant we had every appetizer on the menu, as well as all the desserts, and our main dishes. And huge Thai iced tea.

When I got home I decided to try on the wetsuit, figuring if it fits after an evening of stuffing my face, it will be fine on race day. Plus the Mets were in extra inning and I needed something to do while watching. The coaches recommend selling tickets to the first attempt to put the wetsuit on, as a fundraiser. Alas, I missed my opportunity, and had only Ronon Bear looking on in suspicious amusement.

A few piccies here. Could have used it today actually - the water at the gym was ice cold, apparently there's a problem with the pool's heating system. If only I'd thought to bring the suit - the temperature anyway gave me a good open water simulation tho I think.

Work tomorrow, then I need to decide whether to ride bike or go to a write in in Brooklyn, then ceili at 8. Sunday I am running in the NYRR run for the parks, and then slipping into the back of church and sitting downwind.

Now I will warm up my leftover Thai food - crispy chicken with peanut sauce - UberYum, and watch new Dr Who and BSG!

sick day musings

2008-04-06T18:18:00.002-04:00

Training was a complete bust this weekend. Yesterday's weather was gorgeous, but an allergy attack on Thursday has lead to a full scale sinus and chest thing, of which I will spare you more details. Went out last nite anyway, and a had a good time having dinner with friends from old church and then going to a praise night at new church.

The music was lovely but I couldn't get enough breath to sing properly and had a miserable ride home, as my train line is under construction and I had to do the subway shuffle. Went through an entire pack of tissues on the way home. Whoops, I said I was going to spare you more details didn't I?

This morning chest felt better but head did not, and I had to make a decision whether to go to church this evening or stay home. I wanted to go to church, I love going to my new church, plus it's communion Sunday and I love communion Sunday. But I finally decided that I would just be miserable and unable to concentrate, and make those around me miserable too with my constant coughing and blowing nose.

So I took it as a message from my body (and perhaps God?) to chill out and take a day. And here it's 6:00 in the evening and I am curled up on the couch my jammies with fluids and munchies and a Lord of the Rings Marathon on TNT. (Which I'm taking as another sign from God that it is totally cool to be home.) I have Stargate SG: Ark of Truth on loan and was planning to watch that, but, well, Aragorn + horse = nuff said.

I wasn't totally unproductive today. Over coffee this morning, okay really early afternoon, I read a few chapters of Karen Sloan's "Flirting with Monasticism." I took her workshop this fall at Off the Map and really liked her, so I bought her book.

In her chapter on Community a couple of quotes struck me: Talk about searching for a sense of community, "As the months went by I felt fragmented. Every life activity was with a completely different group of people.

That totally describes me. I have church people, Irish music and dance people, now triathlon training people, book club people, writer's group people, etc. Occasionally a person will cross over from one group to the other, but very rarely. And the people that know me best of all are miles, sometimes thousands of miles away. Which brings me to the next quote.

"Yet something is lost when we have to fly on an airplane - rather than walk across the street- to enjoy a meal prepared by friends." I would like to add that it is way more expensive as well.

Food for thought.

And now, back to Aragorn.

Progress

2008-03-09T22:24:00.001-04:00

Have moved from the balcony. Tonight, I sat *downstairs* in the church.

*bows*

Right, back to watching Blood Ties on DVD.

Training Update

2008-03-06T23:15:00.001-05:00

Among other things.

Tonite is the first evening in about two weeks I've been home and had the house to myself. Ahhhhh :) So am watching POTC3, which I picked up in Targey today. All this water is going to give me plenty incentive to do my swim workout tomorrow. Too bad Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom won't be cavorting about in my gym's pool. Now there's an image tho, yes?

I'm at the halfway point in my triathlon training, and just filled out the recommittment paperwork. So if anyone was waiting for a closer date to support me, now would be a very good time :) I've updated the page a bit, and I'll have my mom take some pics of me with the bike Easter weekend, seeing as she did such a good job over Christmas. Barring a snowstorm or something, which given the weather lately is a possibility. There will be no swimsuit pictures.

I'm up to an hour running, still fairly slowly, swimming half mile in about 25 min, and biking for nearly two hours. Did one hour 50 min today, including stop lights and carrying the bike up and down the steps to the park. So, still have quite a ways to go, but when I look back to December when I could barely run five minutes, hadn't been on a bike in years, and had never learned to swim properly and efficiently (riding the waves at Jones Beach is not considered efficient), I've come quite a ways as well!

I have pretty much all my gear, and filled out the papers today for the (gulp) wetsuit. Had to give up and buy a proper swimsuit tho - the two old ones I've been using up at the pool are so stretched out, I feel like I'm going to float out of them at any second. But I found a suit on LL Bean for the exact price of the gift card I got for Christmas. So just had to pay shipping and tax. Hopefully it will arrive in time for Monday's group swim. And hopefully my old one will stay put on tomorrow's swim. ~~unless Johnny and Orlando *are* there...~~

On the writing front, started an SGA fic, which at the moment is all dialog and needs to be fleshed out. Perhaps will be inspired to write during commercials tomorrow nite. Now, I'm just going to finish watching Pirates and then read some more Harry Potter fic.

le sigh and Great Success.

2008-02-18T21:05:00.001-05:00

First off, we had bbq last nite, and a restaurant up in Harlem called Dinosaur BBQ. In case anyone doesn't believe you can get real BBQ in NY, i took pics. If you still don't believe me, have a whiff at the leftovers in my fridge ;) Only ate half my meal so I could get dessert. Mmmmm peanut butter pie!

Today I had big plans to go on a nice long bike ride. Started out well, sky was blue, temp was warm. TehJerry and I managed to get the cages on the pedals, tho his drill wasn't powerful enough to drill through the frame, so couldn't get the second water bottle holder and pump holders on. So took off for my ride, the cages worked great. Then after about six minutes, the chain fell off. *headdesk*. Back to house, TehJerry fixed the chain, and then storm clouds closed in. So I gave up and went to the gym. Did stationary bike for 1.5 hours, juuuuuuuuuuuuust shy of the 25 miles I need.

Came back and herein lies the Great Success - completed my first experimental sewing project, including breaking my first needle. *bows* Piccies here.

As I said over on Live Journal, I have named my new sewing machine Keller. No relation, at least I don't think so, to Dr Tim Keller of Redeemer. She's named after Dr Jennifer Keller of Stargate Atlantis, who spends much time sewing up members of the team, most notably a certain dreadlocked Satedan.

Now to eat my bangers and mash (the bangers being turkey franks) and watch Connor Chronicles while attempting to finish fic. If I succeed, I will have accomplished ~~almost~~ everything I wanted to this weekend.

TGIF!

2008-02-15T22:42:00.003-05:00

I just discovered while reading someone else's blog that one can put one's yahoo avatar on. I've not been using Yahoo much lately since discovering pidgin, which signs me into yahoo, AIM, and live journal talk all at once. But who can resist a cute little piccie on the blog?

I've dressed mine up as best I could in triathlon gear. Might have to switch it over to Irish step dance stuff for St Pats, but have a month yet.

Right, back to watching Ronon and Teal'c kick posteriors on Stargate Atlantis, and then off to bed as I need to get up at 6 to go do the mucho frio run in Central Park tomorrow. *shivers in anticipation*

It's Friday, and I have the whole holiday weekend off!! *bounces* Tomorrow's plans are the group run (see above) and possibly a trip to Trader Joe's to break in Jumper One's cargo net. Sunday will be church and then dinner at Dinosaur BBQ. Monday I will. not. leave. the. house. *bounces again* I plan to play with my sewing machine and do some writing.

Ashes, Lent, and no clothes shopping

2008-02-06T22:18:00.001-05:00

I got ashes today for the first time. I've wanted to for years, having always been fascinated by everyone walking around with dark smudges on their forehead proclaiming "I am a Christian" (at least for today). Last year to my embarrassment I totally missed Ash Wednesday, having just got back from vacation, so this year I was determined not to. I didn't have time to go to a full service during the work day, and tonight was my group training which I cannot afford to miss just now, so I found a catholic church near my last patient that was giving out ashes from 3:00 to 3:30, and went. After everyone got their ashes, we all said the Lord's Prayer, and went back out into the world.

I noticed for the rest of the day I was more careful about how I acted and spoke, with the ashes on my forehead. Sweated most of them off though during the group run, as it was almost 70 degrees and raining in Central Park.

I decided not to go too crazy during lent this year, as I am already giving up clothes shopping for the year, and fasting would be difficult with the triathlon training. So I will just try to eat more healthy, and give up alcohol. I'll only really feel that during my book club, and St Patrick's Day (Pat had some nerve being born during Lent!), but it will be a good detox from my England trip.

I bought a lent devotional book at Durham Cathedral, and did the first part today. It has a scripture, devotion, prayer, and journal space for all forty days. And I might type up any profound journal entries here.

No clothes shopping is going well, though am only into second month and have not really started to feel it yet. All I bought in January was the one pair of thin running tights (that I was very grateful for tonite!). Didn't even buy a tee-shirt at LOTR. (Got the hairy toes hobbit mug instead)

Having just bought a new car, there will not be much shopping of any sort, at least for awhile. I think I will use my next Amazon GC to get Pirates III. And I still need a little gear for the bike - flat tire kit and saddle bag. And the scary tri-shorts. Otherwise, I'm good to go.

*rubs sore feet* Well, maybe tomorrow...

What to read, what to read...

2008-01-09T21:59:00.000-05:00

One of the most fun parts of getting ready for a trip is deciding which books to pack.

I've already decided what fiction book I'm taking to England - "To Green Angel Tower, Part 2", as I should have finished part 1 by Sunday. That's the only fiction book I'll take, because aside from the epic length of the book which should hold me, I have some fiction book shopping plans, namely the rest of the Stephen Booth series.

So, for nonfic I have three choices, freshly arrived from Amazon yesterday.
They are:

"A Community Called Atonement" by Scot McKnight
"Interior Castle" by St Teresa of Avila
and
"Flirting With Monasticism" by Karen Sloane

What to take, what to take...

Bagpipes in church!

2008-01-06T22:55:00.000-05:00

Tonight my worlds collided. In a good way. I get to church and am sitting there, reading the bulletin, quieting my thoughts, as one does, when the music starts.

My first thought - this sounds suspiciously like a reel. This is Irish. It *is* a reel. Then the pipes started. I look up. Wait a minute, I know that guy! The dude playing uilleann pipes I've met before. A couple of times at various traditional sessions around Manhattan. All Ireland pipe champion. What in the world is he doing playing in my church??

I know I shouldn't be as surprised as I was to realize I was not the only fan of Irish music sitting in the building. I tend to assume that all Irish musicians are either Catholic or Pagan, even though I am neither.

I confess my toe might have been tapping a wee bit too much *blush*. It was a completely Irish night. Reel mixed with a hymn for prelude, jig mixed with a hymn for postlude. Offertory was Amazing Grace, with the melody of "She moved through the fair" intertwined (might sound awful, but trust me, it worked.). And we also sang the hymn that has the same tune as "The Foggy Dew".

It was wonderful, and another vote in favor of joining this church. Unfortunately I didn't have a chance to go talk to the dude after, not that he would remember me. I hope he comes back!

Quote of the day

2008-01-03T16:57:00.000-05:00

"God appeals to us through other good people, through sermons, or through the reading of good books." ~ Teresa of Avila

Big Fun Scary Goal Post

2008-01-01T20:15:00.000-05:00

Copied from my entry on the nanowrimo website, my Big Fun Scary Goals for 2008:

1. Fill in the Grand Canyon of Plot, and finish my nano novel.
2. Complete a triathlon for Team in Training.
3. Learn to use my new sewing machine, and make something I can wear outside the house.
4. Play the tin whistle in an outside the classroom setting.
5. Pick a church and stick with it.
6. Marry Richard Armitage. (oops, how did that one get in there??)

And so it begins...

2008-01-01T19:51:00.000-05:00

The post Diane was waiting for *grin*.

I have a Robin Hood fanfic pounding my brain, but I need to get all my New Years posts done first while it is still New Years Day. So, here goes:

(drum roll please)

Today marks day one of the Year of No Clothes Shopping! And I didn't even buy coffee today, so we're off to a good start.

Exceptions:

-gifts, gift cards
-souvenirs, tho they must be real souvenirs, not "oh what a gorgeous sweater and hey, I'm in London." Nope. It must have a British flag, and or a cheesy slogan like Mind the Gap. (and don't worry about me, I can find plenty other things to buy in London. Books. DVDs, SuperPoseable Guy of Gisborne Action Figure *ahem*)
-anything I make, once I figure out how to use my new sewing machine. Which means fabric and patterns are fair game.
- any remaining gear I need for my Team in Training Triathlon. I hear rumor of something scarily called "tri-shorts"...

I am looking forward to all the new and exciting things I will do this year, and wearing old clothes to do them! :D

Merry Christmas

2007-12-25T18:14:00.000-05:00

Go here if you want to see what I got for Christmas, as well as the rest of our Christmas, and Thanksgiving, it turns out, pictures!

Merry Christmas everyone!

Help me save lives!

2007-12-17T20:35:00.000-05:00

Since I am sending this letter out in place of holiday cards, let me first take this opportunity to wish you a very Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year!

I am inviting you to participate with me in a new adventure I am embarking on this coming year. You don't even have to leave the comfort of your home, as I will be doing all of the work. On May 27th I will be taking part in the Capital of Texas Triathlon along with other members of the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society's Team in Training from New York City.

We will be swimming 0.9 miles, biking 25 miles and (gulp) running 6 miles to raise money for the Society, and the blood cancer patients it represents. I’m not a runner, it’s been about 20 years since I’ve been on a proper bike, and we won’t speculate how long it has been since those life guard lessons in high school. But it’s for a good cause!

I need to raise $5000 by May 7th. I'm asking you to help by making a contribution. Each donation helps accelerate cures for leukemia, lymphoma and myeloma and brings hope to the patients and families who are on the front lines of the battle against these diseases.

Please use the link in this post to donate online quickly and securely. You will receive a confirmation by email of your donation and I will be notified as soon as you make your donation.

On behalf of The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society, thank you very much for your support. I really appreciate your generosity!

You can learn more about my efforts and make a donation by visiting my Web site:

Steph in Training

If you aren't comfortable donating online, you can write a check payable to “The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society” comment, and I will send you my mailing address!

P.S. Please forward this post to as many people as you can to encourage them to donate as well! Prayers and good thoughts are also appreciated, and all contributions are 100% tax deductible.

exercise, exercise

2007-12-02T15:39:00.001-05:00

I may have mentioned that after sitting flat on my butt typing like mad for the entire month of November, and doing next to no physical exercise (tho, dude, my fingers? They be BUFF.) I signed up for a triathlon.

Yesterday, in between choir practice and our TGIO party, we had our gear clinic, to get us sorted on the stuff we need for three different sports and season. Three hours and two sporting good stores later I am the proud owner of:

Winter running tights
Bike shorts (which are, um, interesting)
Wind stopper jacket with zip off sleeves and built in jersey
Wind stopper gloves
balacava thingie (not Greek pastry)
Bike helmet (guaranteed to make me look cylon)
Goggles (not googles)
Cage and water bottle for TehJerry's bike
Bike computer and light/reflector something or other (was package deal with helmet)
Two long sleeve base layer shirts.

Now I just need to get out the door...

I am officially a novelist.... sort of

2007-11-27T18:18:00.000-05:00

Sorry I've not updated for a few days, but worked all weekend, and have also been very busy:

Now to actually finish the thing! And keep writing full out in order to help NYC in the tricity challenge.

But first perhaps some dessert...

NaNoWriMo Progress

2007-11-15T01:56:00.000-05:00

Am sooooooooooooooooo close to the halfway point I can touch it! *bounces*

My minor character serving girl has become a diva and wants a bigger part, my hermit monk is threatening to start the Protestant Reformation three hundred years early (and also might possibly be emergent), and tomorrow I really really need to write a fight scene and figure out where swords and bows and arrows go, but otherwise things are going swimmingly :)

Seattle Sat

2007-11-04T00:44:00.000-04:00

I realized I had posted all of my Seattle pics on LJ and none here, so I thought I'd remedy that. No real pics from Off The Map, except for Richard Twiss and his drum, because, dude, drum! Most of the pictures are of rocks trees and water, and Starbucks. Oh and a few random pics of my hotel room.

make with the clicky for the piccies

After the conference finished, came back to my room, swam, wrote, and then went back to Eastside Foursquare for their Sat pm service, which was quite nice. Got Chinese on the way home, and couldn't even eat half of it. Geez. Trying to figure out how I can take it to eat in car tomorrow.

Tomorrows plans are to drive out to see a waterfall that I can't spell, and then head back into Seattle, explore a bit more, maybe go to Mars Hill, which might be a good balance to the rest of the weekend, and then get the rental car back by 9.

I know, I know, I'm supposed to be writing. I'm going, I'm going...

NaNoWriMo, and Off the Map

2007-11-03T02:31:00.000-04:00

NaNoWriMo started with a bang for me here in Seattle. Since I am registered in NY, I started at midnite EST on Wed, meaning 9PM PST. Which was a good thing, as I didn't actually make it to midnite. I got a good chunk done before the conference started, also a good thing.

today's word count: 506
Total: 2624

I knew today would be a bust writing wise, b/c had so much other stuff going on with conference activities, workshops, dinner, and tonite's "Conversation in a pub", so no worries. At least I got something done.

For what I've been up to all day, as well as last nite and ending tomorrow at noon at Off the Map, others have been blogging like crazy including live blogging at the events. Chuck was intimidated by all the really skinny MacBooks around and elected to stay in his case. So if anyone is interested, I direct you here where a list of blogs has been compiled.

I will content myself with reading them, along with the two books (so far) I've purchased.

Off to Seattle

2007-10-30T23:45:00.000-04:00

In a few hours I'm heading to Off The Map.

My plane to Seattle leaves at Nine. AM. In the morning. I have to be at JFK at Seven. AM. In the morning. Which means the last off peak train at 5:29. AM. In the morning. My alarm is set for 4:30. AM. In the morning.

Naturally I'm sitting on the couch watching TV and playing on the computer. Also am drinking a tea of one entire lemon, hot water, honey, and zicam. Got a lovely little (ok not so little) head nose throat and ear cold and am not looking forward to getting off the plane. So over the past two days I have devoured many lemons in an effort to kill the cold.

Had a successful shopping trip with mom yest, complete with breadbowls of soup at Panera. Got some funky boots that I will take a pic of eventually, but right now camera is in laptop case and boots are in closet.

Anyway am supposed to be finishing my nano warm up fic, which I officially have 24 hours to complete. Then the real thing starts *meep*. I suppose I shall write a bit now till the zicam kicks in. Or just watch Torchwood.

a day off

2007-10-18T13:04:00.000-04:00

It's so lovely to have a day off, to spend a leisurely morning (ok, yes really afternoon *g*) sitting around drinking coffee and reading. This morning's reading from Renovare's "Devotional Classics" was by John Calvin on Self Denial.

Quite appropriate, as I am about to head on over to Target!

Something to think about

2007-10-16T08:53:00.000-04:00

One of the chief dead-ends in developing my spiritual life is to want to have someone else's spiritual life. If, for instance, I visit a convent one day, or see a monastery on TV, I may find myself thinking, "I wish I could pray like them". But if I am a schoolteacher, or an accountant, or looking after my children all day, then that rhythm of prayer may just not be suited to me. Pray as you can, not as you can't is an obvious maxim, but one that is frequently overlooked, leading to a lot of unrealistic expectations, and frustration.Finding my own rhythm, a way of praying that suits me, may involve some experimentation with times and places and with different styles and approaches. At times I will need to persevere and not give up on something too easily. I also need, however, to be prepared to say, "This doesn't work for me." Finding a way of praying I can sustain is an important step in developing my relationship with God.

From Sacred Space - "Something to Think and Pray About this Week."

Just struck me this am, as I continue to read through other people's advice on how to pray and worship - in two ways.

First, not to expect to have the same experience as someone else.

Second, to keep at it.

Another weekend out of the city

2007-10-15T20:43:00.000-04:00

Went out to the Delaware Water Gap friday to spend the weekend at some cabins owned by the AMC, in the middle of the woods and right on a lovely lake.

We had dinner in town and then a dance workshop Friday nite, then Saturday after a "light breakfast" of Irish oatmeal and soda bread, we had another dance workshop. Lunch, some music, and then we hiked up to the Appalachian Trail, and along a ridgeline for a bit. Came back, had dinner, more music (I played my drum, but the whistle did not leave the case), and dancing till midnite.

Sunday another "light" breakfast, a hike along the river, and a "light" lunch of all the leftovers from the day before. I'm not sure if I ate more, or exercised more - lol.

I got home in two hours :O

Apparently cursing out the George Washington Bridge in my previous post did the trick!

Came home to a surprise - my parents had come by for a pitstop on their way to Rye for a conference and brought lunch to eat with my brother. so we had a chat, and then when they left I sorted out my email, watched Lantis (Ronon - squee!), and crashed.

Still tired today so I skipped dance class. The fact that I still need to watch Torchwood, and have procured ep 202 or Robin Hood had nothing to do with that. Nope. Not at all. I danced enough ;)

Pictures are here.

And here is a short video of some friends doing the Traditional Irish Chicken Dance.

Tis not for the faint of heart.

Schwiiiing!!

2007-10-04T22:23:00.000-04:00

You know the Bible 100%!

Wow! You are awesome! You are a true Biblical scholar, not just a hearer but a personal reader! The books, the characters, the events, the verses - you know it all! You are fantastic!

Ultimate Bible Quiz
Create MySpace Quizzes

After this the Yankees losing 12-3 to the Indians is just icing on the cake ;)

My, what a weekend!

2007-10-02T20:33:00.000-04:00

Cross posted from Livejournal:

The Mets wash out, SGA washes in. The Doctor leaves us hanging. And I was away for all of it.

Still catching up on everything, have much reading to do, tho I did watch both SGA and DW Sunday nite even with a blinding headache after six hours of driving. (why oh why is it so hard to get back into NY??) That's dedication, I tell ya.

Did much dancing, eating, drinking, talking, beach walking, swimming, and even birding. Yes, it's a verb! Wandered all around the marshlands by the lighthouse in search of hawks, herons, and other things I can't remember. Saw the hawk counting board, but we were all in agreement that people are probably counting the same birds over and over :P.

Piccies are here.

And here is a short vid of my dance teachers and a couple friends doing the hornpipe figure of the Cashel set. Much fun. Unfortunately I didn't get into a set for that one, which is why I was playing with my camera.

Right. Have taken off my blue and orange nail polish and replaced it with red. Now to finish watching torchwood and attempt to wade through four days worth of LJ and bloglines.

Podcasts, walks, and taking notes

2007-09-23T22:07:00.000-04:00

As well as reading way too many blogs, I've been listening to several podcasts lately. Mostly while walking, as the weather has been so nice. I wish Brother Giles would hurry up with another Secrets of Harry Potter podcast, but I digress. This week, aside from an Emergent Village podcast, I listened to sermons by Tim Keller, Rick McKinley and Mark Driscoll. Yeah, a wee bit of variety there- lol.

This morning I woke up with one of those UberHeadaches that you just know is going to dog you the whole day. After two cups of coffee, two aleve, clarinex and mucinex d didn't do the trick, I went for a walk. Gorgeous day, so I went to the park and my favorite gazebo wall perch, overlooking the bay and sailboats. And listened to podcasts.

Two of the casts I listened to made snarky references to taking notes during sermons. One guy said that most people never read those notes again. That's certainly true in my case. So I started to think about why I take notes. The dude was right, I never look at them again. I can't read my own handwriting half the time anyway, which is why I love the computer. I think it's that doing something while I am listening helps me concentrate.

This is the age of Multitasking. For example, while I'm writing this I'm also watching Stargate Atlantis season three on dvd, and chatting with a friend. Have I mentioned I love my laptop? I can't exactly whip out my computer and chat during church, or walk around for that matter. So, I take notes :)

Apparently I have a problem

2007-09-21T17:22:00.000-04:00

87%

JustSayHi - Free Personals

Books books books

2007-09-16T22:30:00.000-04:00

Tpday's non-writing brought to you by:

GoodReads.

Thanks to pokings from ~~evil~~ friends, I have registered. I will never have the energy to list all the books on my shelves again, but I like the "currently reading" and "to read" shelves, those I may possibly keep updating. Tho now it looks like I have read two books and need to read ten - lol.

Feel free to head on over and friend me there.

something to think about...

2007-09-15T15:51:00.000-04:00

Have been seriously bit by the blog bug. Between importing RSS feeds to my LJ friends list, and now subscribing to many others via bloglines, I've got way too many to read. Was way too much trouble to make links for them all here, so if I have commented on your blog and you don't see it in my links, it doesn't mean I've not subscribed to your feed :)

Here's a bit from Rick McKinley's blog that struck me:

Too often we (the church) think we need to invent and brand everything that we do in the city. This just perpetuates the false shell of our own subculture. Instead look for opportunities that already exist in the city. There are tons of non profits in your town. They are dying for people who will join them in their work. We get to saddle up to people who share Kingdom passion. They may not know it is Kingdom passion because they may not know the King yet. But as you serve them and with them serve others you gain a voice into their lives and they into yours. You also build viability for the Gospel. They begin to trust that you are not going to try to Colonialise their organization and make t-shirts that say “we saved Bob’s aids hospice”.

Theological World View meme

2007-09-13T00:02:00.000-04:00

You scored as Emergent/Postmodern, You are Emergent/Postmodern in your theology. You feel alienated from older forms of church, you don't think they connect to modern culture very well. No one knows the whole truth about God, and we have much to learn from each other, and so learning takes place in dialogue. Evangelism should take place in relationships rather than through crusades and altar-calls. People are interested in spirituality and want to ask questions, so the church should help them to do this.

Emergent/Postmodern

79%

Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan

71%

Reformed Evangelical

64%

Neo orthodox

61%

Fundamentalist

57%

Roman Catholic

50%

Modern Liberal

39%

Classical Liberal

36%

Charismatic/Pentecostal

36%

What's your theological worldview?
created with QuizFarm.com

Off the map

2007-09-08T20:01:00.000-04:00

Just registered to go to the Off the Map conference in Seattle in November :)

It's sort of a funny story. When I had my lovely trip home from a friend's wedding in April (waves to Larissa), I got a voucher from Jet Blue for the price of my return flight b/c we had a 6 hours delay. Since I'm going to England in Jan and Hungary in July, I figured I needed to use the voucher this fall, and was researching places I was interested in seeing that Jet blue goes to. Had narrowed it down to about four, and after a poll on my LiveJournal (Because such an important decision cannot be made alone), I had decided on Seattle, the first week of November. Figured coffee, hotel with wireless, work on my NaNoWrimo project, and do some sightseeing.

Then I get an email about this conference in Seattle, the first week of November. My Mom: "It's a sign!" Duly taken ;)

Now to find the Jet Blue voucher...

re-reading

2007-09-03T13:43:00.000-04:00

After all the singing, shouting, dancing, drinking songs (ahem), and general mayhem of the last three days, I spent a quiet couple of hours reading this am. (Very quiet, as neither my friend or myself have any voice left after the Gaelic Storm performance last nite!).

Read the first couple chapters of Michael Casey's "Sacred Reading: The Ancient Art of Lectio Divina."

This quote jumped out at me:

Repetition is the soul of genuine lectio. It is a right brain activity; we do not grasp the entire content immediately but in a circular manner. We read and advance, then we go back and read again.

Of course, Casey is talking about scripture, but it spoke to me also in a general sense. I'll give a very bad *g* example. In preparation for book seven of Harry Potter, I started re-reading the entire series from book one. By the time I got to the last book, all the backstory and continuity were firm in my mind, and it totally enhanced the experience and satisfaction of the ending

I have so many good books, and not just fiction, on my shelves that I've read only once. Authors like CS Lewis (is it possibly to read CS Lewis too much? I think not.), Thomas Merton, Kathleen Norris, Lauren Winner, and several others.

So I think for Advent and Lent I will read no new books, but re-read books that I already have. And possibly dust my bookshelves...

Spamming with the memes...

2007-09-02T14:42:00.000-04:00

You scored as Anselm, Anselm is the outstanding theologian of the medieval period.He sees man's primary problem as having failed to render unto God what we owe him, so God becomes man in Christ and gives God what he is due. You should read 'Cur Deus Homo?'

Anselm

93%

John Calvin

87%

Jonathan Edwards

73%

Martin Luther

73%

Friedrich Schleiermacher

60%

Karl Barth

53%

Paul Tillich

53%

Augustine

47%

Charles Finney

40%

Jürgen Moltmann

33%

created with QuizFarm.com

I'm not in Kansas anymore...

2007-09-02T13:22:00.000-04:00

Actually I am. Or possibly Missouri. Am staying in Kansas City with my friend Kelly, and the state seems to change from block to block. Apparently I'm not the only one confused, as members of the band we are ~~stalking~~ listening to this weekend were having the same issues - yelling out Kansas and being corrected "Missouri!!"

We're attending all three days of the Kansas City Irish Festival, my feet are sore, and I have no voice :)

Check my LJ
for pictures, and a short video of me at the clogging workshop.
Kelly also has a short vid of Gaelic Storm - Pat Murphy doing his Snoop Dogg version of Johnny Tarr.
(Deeply Spiritual Gaelic Storm is not. But they are much fun. And my favorite band.) Aside from GS, which was the whole reason I came to KC (well that and to finally see Kelly), we saw the Young Dubliners, and the Elders, who also rock. Several CDs have been purchased.

We'll go back today, wearing our "Don't go for the one" teeshirts, for one last ~~stalking~~ performance, and tin whistle workshop. I'm not allowed to buy any more teeshirts, but am permitted another CD or two or three. *whistles innocently*

more churchy stuff

2007-08-26T23:00:00.000-04:00

Tonite I went to the evening service at Redeemer West Side.

The music was jazz, the sermon was wonderful, and after there were coffee, cookies, and books. I was good and did not buy any books.

Ran into some others from my current church, and we discussed the upcoming meeting with the pastor and elder regarding the music ministry. I'm going to go, but I am afraid it will only cement my decision to leave.

Last Evening

2007-08-24T21:39:00.000-04:00

Have recovered from my melodramatic post from the other day.

Last night I went to my first Emergent Village Cohort meeting.
We sat in the lounge of a bar, drinking wine and beer and talking about God.

It was good.

Tony Jones signed my book! I am such a geek. I don't think I embarrassed myself too much tho. I save the fangirling for Stargate Atlantis conventions. Ahem.

Only damper to the evening was the Mets losing in the 10th inning. *sigh*

Anyway I have many new places to check out :)

Church

2007-08-22T22:18:00.000-04:00

How much is too much? When do you decide to leave a church? I guess back in the days when there was only one "church", people had no choice. It was either go to church or don't. But nowadays we have way too many choices, esp here where I live. It's incredibly easy to hop from church to church, and I've always sort of looked down on those who do. Since I moved here 16 years I've belonged to two churches, one of which no longer exists. I've always believed in commitment. Dig in my heels, grit my teeth and stay put, no matter what. I tell myself there's no such thing as a perfect church, not in this world.

But how much is too much? When a church refuses to change, to grow? When you no longer can respect the leadership?

On the other hand, when there was only one church and people stayed put, I suppose the church had no choice but to change and grow with the people. When there are so many people coming and going, a church can stay the same and still seem fresh to the new people coming in.

Long story short, for a number of reasons I'm starting to look around for a new church.

I've not officially left the old one yet, and I feel a sadness, almost a mourning, but at the same time a new sense of freedom, like I'm breaking out of an oppressive cocoon and being given a chance to spread my wings.

Oy. Can we say Drama Queen, boys and girls?

I'll miss my friends, tho some I will see, and the majority of them are already gone anyway. I'm looking forward to making new friends and (hopefully) meeting more people who are like me.

Saturday at the beach.

2007-08-06T19:33:00.000-04:00

Some pretty piccies from Saturday's outing to the beach are here.
Am quite proud that I survived the gangs of Hells Angels on Jetskis, fishing lines and surfers. Both knees are also slightly exfoliated.

I could make a proper picspam, but I feel lazy. And I like flickr.

Under the beach are pics from the wedding I was in last weekend, if anyone is interested in seeing many dressed up people.

Fasting

2007-07-22T16:26:00.000-04:00

I like how Tony Jones opens his chapter on fasting in "The Sacred Way":

I hate fasting.
So, seriously, I hate it, and I avoid it at all costs. It is my least favorite of the disciplines in this book. In fact, I wish I didn't have to right about it. I wish it weren't so deeply rooted in the history of God's people Then I could ignore it.
But I can't ignore it. It's too prevalent, and, honestly, too important.

My main issue with fasting as always been my focus. Being a dieter, my mind tends to wander onto how fasting will help me to lose weight,and other physical cleansing benefits, rather than the spiritual benefits. So this time I am determined to get it right.

Some quotes from "Celebration of Discipline"

Foster notes that "the constant propaganda fed us today convinces us that if we do not have three large meals each day, with several snacks in between, we are on the verge of starvation."

Fasting is "distinct from health dieting which stresses abstinence from food for physical, not spiritual purposes." This is the one I need to beat into my brain. "Physical benefits, success in prayer, the enduing with power, spiritual insights - these must never replace God as the center of our fasting."

He notes that there are no biblical laws that command regular fasting, so that we are free to fast whenever we wish. In the sermon on the mount Jesus "seems to make the assumption that people will fast, and is giving instruction on how to do it properly." Jesus "made it clear that he expected his disciples to fast when he was gone."

Foster makes the point that Jesus gave instruction on how to properly give, pray and fast in the same passage, but the emphasis today in the church is on giving. "Perhaps in our affluent society fasting involves a far larger sacrifice than the giving of money."

Foster says that during fasting, it will be come apparent what controls us. David repeatedly humbled his soul with fasting. "Anger, bitterness, jealousy, strife, fear - if they are within us, they will surface during fasting."

"Fasting helps us keep our balance in life. How easily we begin to allow nonessentials to take precedence in our lives. How quickly we crave things we do not need until we are enslaved by them."

"In the fourth century, Asterius said that fasting ensured that the stomach would not make the body boil like a kettle to the hindering of the soul."

Some scripture about fasting:

Matthew 6:16-18 Jesus' instructions not to make a big production of fasting

Matthew 9:15 Jesus' disciples to fast once the bridegroom was taken from them

Acts 13:2-3 During fasting an praying the Holy Spirit selects Paul and Barnabas to be sent off

Luke 2:37 Anna never left the temple, serving God with fasting and prayer

Zechariah 5 The people ask God whether they should go on fasting, and he replies that they were never doing it for his sake.

Psalm 69:10, 35:13 David humbles his soul with fasting

John 4:32, 34 Jesus tells the disciples that his food is to do God's will

So I will give it another try. Of course, I can't tell you when. ;)

Some ramblings on prayer

2007-07-15T15:18:00.000-04:00

I couldn't possibly do just one blog post of prayer - I'm finding there is just so much to read and learn and try. I thought I'd be moving on to another discipline by now, but it looks like I'll be here for awhile. I've been struggling with prayer for quite some time now, especially when put on the spot in a group. I go through the motion of praise and thanks and pleases that I think are expected of me, but I don't feel anything. I know emotions are not to be trusted, and I know I am explaining this badly, but I feel like there's a block. I know God is out there and listening, but I'm not getting through to him, and he's not getting through to me. And when it comes to praying for others, the will is definitely there but I never know what to say. "Please be with so and so" sounds really lame, as does telling him what to do to fix the problem, like he needs my helpful suggestions.

So I set out to experiment with other forms of prayer outside of the basic formula used in the evangelical church. I like the word experiment, it makes me feel like this cool scientist in a lab coat tapping away at a computer and spouting technobabble. And some of the terms I read seem like technobabble until you break them down. I also like the words Spiritual Exercises, because it implies strengthening, toning, shaping, increasing endurance. Then my cool scientist takes off her lab coat and sports arms and abs of steel. I bought a little calendar organizer to record each days physical and spiritual exercises - just a brief line of what I did each day, so after a few months I can get an overview of what I've been working on with body and soul.

Don't get me wrong, petitionary prayer is certainly important. Richard Foster has an excellent chapter on it that I will be returning to in a while, and experimenting with some of the things he suggests.

I tried structural prayers, using the book of common prayer, and The Divine Hours, and they helped a bit, focusing on God and incorporating scripture into the prayers. The hours is especially good for travel, when you don't have much time or space to yourself, and now it comes in a portable version with one week of prayers.

Right now I'm experimenting with contemplative prayer. The silence/solitude and meditation that I've been working on are building blocks to this. I tried centering prayer as well, where you just concentrate on one word, but apparently I think too much and so meditation works better for me. My current favorite tool is Sacred Space, a daily prayer site takes you through several frames of prayer and scripture, based on the Ignatian Spiritual Exercises, which I'm studying now. According to Tony Jones, Sacred Space is "actually a hybrid of Ignatian prayer leading to a lectio divina on the lectionary-assigned Scripture passage for the day." I found the website from his book, which was written in 1999, and the site is still going strong. I think part of it appeals to the geek in me to be praying at my computer. I like how you select the time to move on to the next frame, choosing how much time you will spend thinking and praying in between. I also like how it encourages you to imagine Jesus sitting in the chair next to you and to turn and tell him what you're feeling. I've actually been switching on the computer in the morning looking forward to prayer, which is a big step, for a baby.

Interview meme

2007-07-08T22:06:00.000-04:00

Cross posted from Live journal:

via whatthefaith

1. Leave me a comment saying anything random, like your favorite lyric to your current favorite song. Or your favorite kind of sandwich.Something random. Whatever you like.

2. I respond by asking you five personal questions so I can get to know you better.

3. You WILL update your LJ with the answers to the questions.

4. You will include this explanation and offer to ask someone else in the post.

5. When others comment asking to be asked, you will ask them five questions.

My Five Questions:

1. You are no longer a nurse. You are an English teacher. What is the first novel you teach and why?

Guess it depends on the age level I am teaching. Middle School/ Junior High what jumps to mind is the Harry Potter books, partly b/c I'm rereading them now, and partly b/c the kids would read them. For young people I don't think it's as important that they read a great classic with all sorts of deeper meaning, but that they *read*. Learn to appreciate books, and get lost in them. I think I learned more from the Star Trek novels I smuggled into study hall than anything I was assigned in English class.
For adults, I'd go with Pride and Prejudice, b/c I read it again as an adult and like it, and it would give me an excuse to show the miniseries with Colin Firth in class *g*.

2. You have 24 hours to spend anywhere in the world but you have to pick one spot. Where will you go and what will you do?

Will I be able to stay awake the whole twenty-four hours, and would travel time be instantaneous? If so I'd go to New Zealand and wander all over Middle Earth. (*covers ears as shrieks*) Travel time, topsy turvey jet lag, and airfare are what have kept me in this hemisphere thus far.

3. A movie is being made of your life. Who plays you?

Sandra Bullock

4. Belief system: mainstream or non-denominational?

Both. There is no one tradition I'm completely in agreement with, and bits I like about most of them. For example, I love contemporary worship music, but I also like what I am learning about more ancient disciplines like solitude and contemplative prayer. In short my system is a hodge podge of picking and choosing. Maybe I should start my own church! Nyah, I'll stay where I am and be subversive *g*.

5. Has there ever been a time when you thought nursing was not your field?
Yes, but aside from my fantasies of becoming a best selling novelist, only when i am disgruntled with my current job. Then I come to my senses and realize that:
a. every job has its good and bad days, and difficult people. (reading my friends list helps with this, lol)
b. I'm a good nurse, responsible *sigh*, the patients like me for the most part (tho I often wish the PITAs would request another nurse), the squick factor doesn't bother me at all.
c. It pays well and my current job gives me plenty of flexibility to do all the other non-marketable things I want to do.

Cloisters picspam

2007-07-05T18:03:00.000-04:00

Went with a friend on Sunday to the Cloisters, which is the Metropolitan Museum of Art's medieval art collection, in a recreated medieval monastery in a gorgeous park. One of my favorite places, partly b/c it's just beautiful, I love gardens and castle/cathedral type places. Also I am a sucker for unicorns, and it is the home of the famous unicorn tapestries.

We had a picnic in the park, overlooking the Hudson river.

Wandered all around the gardens and galleries . All in all a nice day :)

music!

2007-06-28T18:37:00.000-04:00

Aside from the fact that the "Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End" soundtrack has eaten my brain and I've been listening to it pretty much non-stop since seeing the movie last Saturday night, I did purchase some other music this past week.

Awhile back following a link from a link, I found and subscribed to the Pray As You Go podcasts. Last fall they were great for commutes into the city after work, calming and rejuvenating. About 10-15 minutes each they start with some chant music, then read a portion of scripture, and guide you through thinking about that scripture, asking you to place yourself in the scene, and asking some pointed questions about how this relates to your life. Plus, most of the readers have British accents *grin*.

I started downloading them again this week, after my first attempt at meditation, b/c they are a nice bite sized chunk of what I am trying to learn. Anyway, when i was listening to Monday's podcast, the music at the beginning was quite different, not the usual Gregorian chant music I've got used to, but rhythmic voices, with a stringed instrument, similar to a guitar but not, and percussion. It immediately grabbed me so of course I had to research and find out who it was so i could get the music for myself.

Turns out it's from a monastery in Senegal called "Keur Moussa". Unfortunately the English version of their website doesn't seem to be working, and I don't read French, or I would have bought some cds from them directly. However after some surfing around I was able to find a cd used on Amazon. (Have I mentioned I love Amazon? I do :)).

Amazon recommended another cd with it called "Kora Revolution", kora being the stringed instrument that sounds sort of like a guitar but isn't. The artist is from Afro-Celt Sound System, of whom I have two albums already. This one was available on Itunes, so I got it there. (sorry, Amazon. I do love you. Really.)

So, long story short - I have new music. Though am still listening to Pirates...

Of solitude, silence, and meditation

2007-06-25T22:24:00.000-04:00

It's hard to find solitude and silence in New York City. In the summer, I love the beach. I go to the farthest field where the buses don't stop and they rarely have lifeguards. On a weekday it's just me, a few surfers and some fisherman. But today was too chilly for the beach. Absolutely gorgeous - sunny, blue sky with fluffy white clouds, no humidity, 69 degrees.

I tossed a towel and my books in my string bag and walked to the park about a mile away, with a stop at Dunkin Donuts for a ridiculously large iced coffee and bagel. Waded through the little leaguers, bikers, joggers, and people sunning themselves to a place where miraculously no one else was, a gazebo in the woods, overlooking the highway far below and the bay. Not exactly silent, tho the highway traffic is more white noise and almost matches the wind rustling the leaves of the trees.

Finished Richard Foster's chapter on meditation in "Celebration of Discipline." He describes three different forms of meditation - meditation on scripture was the first and the one that appealed to me. He points out that meditation is not study, or exegesis, but personalization of the passage.

He quotes Dietrich Bonhoeffer as saying "just as you do not analyze the words of someone you love, but accept them as they are said to you, accept the Word of Scripture and ponder it in your heart, as Mary did. That is all. That is meditation."

Foster suggests "that you take a single event, or a parable, or a few verses, or even a single word and allow it to take root in you."

How do we pick what scripture to meditate on though? Today selecting was easy because I picked something quoted in the boo. Foster quotes Bonhoeffer again as saying one should meditate on the same passage for a week. Fine, but then what about next week? We are reading Genesis in Bible study, and I'm working my way toward psalms in my own reading, tho admittedly have been reading more books that actual scripture this past year. Foster's descriptions of using the "sanctified imagination" to place ourselves in the scene with Jesus makes me want to pick something from the gospels. So, how do I choose?

Today I chose James 1:17 because it was mentioned elsewhere in the chapter, and therefore handy.

All that is good, all that is perfect, is given us from above; it comes down from the Father of all light; with him there is no such thing as alteration, no shadow caused by change.

Some ramblings I jotted down:

God is light with no change of shifting shadow (I know I've read that in another version), like the way the light shifts and shimmers on the leaves and the water. So, pure light with no shadows such as leaves cause. But elsewhere in scripture it says God is the shade on our right hand or something to that effect. (note to self, next time might help to actually bring a bible along) So God is both pure light and shade. How can that be?

The sun is warm but also contains harmful radiation. shade is cooling and safe, protecting. So God is pure light that causes no harm and provides shade?

Am I supposed to be meditating with a notebook and writing things down? And is what I am writing down making any sense?

Bottom line: Not sure if I was missing or getting the point of the exercise. Foster says you don't learn to meditate from a book (darn b/c I like learning things from books). You learn to meditate by meditating. So that is what I am attempting to do.

Modesty

2007-06-14T15:23:00.000-04:00

I don't think that I am an overly modest person. I don't mind showing some skin, leg, arm, etc. I love shorts and low rise pants that add a few inches to my torso. I have no issues with wearing a swim suit, hate long skirts, and rebel against the notion that women shouldn't wear jeans to church, tho I respect the rule against wearing them if I am leading worship.

I especially adore the soft clingy feel of Old Navy tank tops. I just wish most of the necklines were about two inches higher. I was shopping earlier this week, looking for a couple *non* tank tops for summer, a brown themed swimsuit top to go with the shorts I made from capris, and possibly a cute dress for church and parties. Of all the things I tried on, I walked away with Bermuda jean shorts, a skirt, a sweater (on clearance sale, see previous post), and another couple tank tops.

Every single one of the shirts, dresses, and swim suit tops I tried on had one thing in common - they exposed so much of my chest that I might as well just walk around in shorts and a bra. Actually my bras cover more than some of these tops. I don't mind showing a hint or shape of cleavage, and I admit I have another motive for keeping my chest to myself - I had heart surgery when I was nine, and so have a scar that runs straight down the center. But really.

This morning I was reading from "Real Sex" by Lauren Winner, and a couple passages jumped out at me after this (and many many other) shopping experience.

Lauren is discussing taking her friend's five year old shopping for school clothes: The kindergarten set, it appears, is wearing the same low-riding, midriff-revealing tops and trousers that their big sisters and moms are sporting, At least, the working-class and middling kindergartners are. All the affordable shops, in other words, specialize in revealing outfits and tight skirts. Wealthy daughters, whose parents can afford to shop at Hanna Andersson and Nordstrom, still get little girl clothes - crinolines and dresses and smocking. But we apparently expect their less well off cousins to start dressing for sex early.

I thought,wait a minute, it's not just kids shops but ours too. Sure, I can pay $40 for a full coverage unfitted tank top from Title Nine, but my budget would cry much less if I grab the two for $12 at Old Navy.

Reading further: Try finding a truly modest summer frock that doesn't make you look like a sack of potatoes - it isn't impossible, but it also isn't the easiest thing in the world either.

Or cheap. *sigh* All I'm asking for is a couple of inches here and there, without sacrificing style. I want to be covered, comfortable, and not look like I borrowed my grandmother's clothes. If I were a seamstress, I'd make or alter my own, and I admire those that do, but sewing is not my forte. I can manage cutoff shorts and replacing a button, that's about it. Let's face it, you can't chat on the computer, watch TV, or read a book while using a sewing machine. Possibly by the end of next year I might be making my own pajama bottoms (WHAT is the obsession with drawstrings??? They might make Jean Butler look good, but no one else!), but don't hold your breath.

Thankfully I wear a uniform, so have no workplace clothing issues. Anyway, will have much food for thought in the next year.

Pic spam

2007-06-11T23:05:00.000-04:00

Some piccies, posted here b/c it's easier than on LJ - lol. But since I made reference to my new computer in my last post...

My new laptop, Chuck:

Chuck and his uniform:

I took a picture of this sweater b/c I am v. proud of finding it on clearance sale at Old Navy, marked down from $36 to$9.

Plus it matches perfectly my new skirt, and I now have a ceili outfit for either Sat or Sun. It might be destined to become my favorite sweater during the Year of No Clothes Shopping.

And finally the Pirates towel that happened to jump into my cart when I was in Target. No idea how that happened.

I will be enjoying my beach time methinks *grin*

Delayed Gratification

2007-06-11T22:53:00.000-04:00

I have a brand new laptop, which I am typing on right now. His name is Chuck. Chuck has wireless capability, but I don't have wireless in the apartment. I am getting a wireless router from my parents for my birthday at the end of August. Until then I have to content myself with typing stories and blog posts on Chuck, while sitting curled up on the couch, and then transferring them to my desktop, Allan (yes I do name most of my appliances. I'm weird that way.) for posting. I can't use Chuck to chat, twitter, surf, or check my email.

Two months is an awfully long time. I mean just a few days ago I was saying fifteen minutes was a long time. But this summer I am supposed to be learning spiritual discipline, so I guess here is my first lesson - patience and delayed gratification. Not exactly the American way. We want it now, now, now, and thanks to credit cards we get it. Not this time.

And after all it really is for the best. Starting in September, I'll probably never leave my couch.

Books, books, books

2007-06-09T19:18:00.000-04:00

Since my last post I did a wee bit of shopping on Amazon. LOVE Amazon. I bought "A Celebration of Discipline" by Richard Foster, which I've read once but my mom's copy and I want my own, esp considering my focus on disciplines this summer, "Real Sex" by Lauren Winner, and the pocket/travel edition of "The Divine Hours" by Phyllis Tickle.

Lest those reading this who don't know me well think me too serious, be advised I am halfway through "Song of the Beast", a lovely fantasy by Carol Berg (I am a total sucker for dragons), and have on my to read pile two fantasy novels by Tad Williams (yes *finally* getting around to that series that I've been looking at and thinking "I should read that someday..." for about 10 years.), and "Blood on the Tongue" by Stephen Booth, which I actually am dying to start given my current bent toward British and Canadian mystery series. Someone really needs to take BBC America away from me. And my Tivo. How am I supposed to catch up on all these DVDs waiting for me when I keep finding and grabbing new shows?

Am also currently reading "Mysteries of the Middle Ages" by Thomas Cahill, a loner from Mom. I love his subtly Christian slant, but that he is matter of fact, not in your face about it, and gives a thoroughly intellectual and also at times quite cynical overview of history. I just finished the chapter on Eleanor of Aquitaine and Francis of Assisi - talk about an interesting combo. Working tomorrow but don't need to start too early, so plan to have some reading time with this book over coffee before I have to go. Of course I am typing this Friday nite on my laptop, and by the time I export it to my desktop and post it will probably be Sunday, and my plans will have come and gone. The novelty of typing on my new lappy, Chuck, has not worn off, and I doubt it ever will, esp once I get my router. :)

As regards silence, managed ten minutes this morning, and what popped into my head halfway through was "Christmas Canon" by Trans-Siberian Orchestra. I have NO idea why. It's not even come up on shuffle in months. My friend Pia (who really needs to get a blog ;)) and I have been having a running debate on the merits vs harmful effects of practicing silence. I might post some of it here at a later time with her permission. I will say that since I've started my attempts my language behind the wheel seems to have improved somewhat, but that could just be b/c I've not driven into Manhattan this week.

ETA: The books came today! Amazon is fast. Now I have to decide what to read first, even tho I am supposed to be writing.

ETA2: It is ridiculously easy to add links here on Blogger.

ETA3: Amazon should give me commission.

Sounds of Silence, part deux

2007-06-07T13:53:00.000-04:00

Some quotes from the Henri Nouwen chapter "Bringing Solitude into Our Lives", in "Devotional Classics":

A spiritual life requires human effort. The forces that keep pulling us back into a worry filled life are far from easy to overcome.... A spiritual life without discipline is impossible. The practice of a spiritual discipline makes us more sensitive to the small, gentle voice of God. ... Through the practice of a spiritual discipline we become attentive to that small voice and willing to respond when we hear it...

we are usually surrounded by so much outer noise that it is hard to truly hear our God when he is speaking to us... When, however, we learn to listen, our lives become obedient lives. The word obedient comes from the latin audire, which means "listening."

Without solitude it is virtually impossible to live a spiritual life. Solitude begins with a time and place for God, and him alone.

To bring some solitude into our lives is one of the most necessary but also most difficult disciplines... As soon as we are alone, without people to talk with, books to read, TV to watch, or phone calls to make, an inner chaos opens up in us... when we have removed our outer distractions, we often find that our inner distractions manifest themselves to us in full force.

Once we have committed ourselves to spending time in solitude, we develop an attentiveness to God's voice in us... Time in solitude may at first seem little more than a time in which we are bombarded by thousands of thoughts and feelings that emerge from hidden areas of our minds... at first, the many distractions keep presenting themselves. Later, as they receive less and less attention, they slowly withdraw.

As we empty ourselves of our many worries, we come to know not only with our mind but also with our heart that we were never really alone, that God's Spirit was with us all along.

Today after reading this was attempt number two. A bit different as today I have the day off from work, and aside from an appt with my trainer at 4:30, and our end of the year music ministry dinner at 7, I've the whole day to myself. Plus my brother is out of town till tonite, so also the whole apartment to myself. And of course a million things I want to do...

And typing on my new laptop is SO cool.

Attempted 15 minutes this am, at quarter to so that the clock bird would chirp at the hour to let me know the 15 minutes was up. Was fairly quiet, except for the birds, one train, and someone mowing the lawn a couple blocks away.

15 minutes is a long time. Tried my best to not look up at the clock but wait for the bird. I see what Henri Nouwen means about being "bombarded by thoughts." What am I going to have for breakfast/brunch/lunch. What am I going to wear to the gym, and what am I going to wear to the dinner tonite? The next scene in the SG1 fic I'm working on during ficfrenzy on LJ. What books I want to buy on amazon, b/c I have another GC burning a whole in my fingers. Tho I give myself credit that it was books from the list in the back of the above book I was thinking of, never mind the stack of nice meaty fantasy novels on my to read pile, which then lead to Will I drive or take the train tonite, and if I take the train, which book will I take to read? and is it 15 minutes yet?

Oy.

Baby steps, I guess!

The Sounds of Silence

2007-06-07T13:33:00.000-04:00

June 6, 2007

Have decided after yesterday's road rage temper tantrum in the car ( which fortunately no one but my steering wheel saw/heard) that I really need to start practicing some spiritual discipline, aside from my usual practice of getting up, drinking coffee and reading for awhile before work. These past few weeks I feel really out of touch with God, unsure how to meaningfully pray, and in need of... something.

The first discipline I decided to try is silence. I've read many references to silence; Thomas Merton, Kathleen Norris, Richard Foster, Tony Jones, to name a few authors who espouse it. My practical brain wants step by step instructions, but I'm finding to my frustration that I have to figure it out for myself.

So, this morning I read the chapter on silence in Tony Jones' "The Sacred Way", and then started with 10 minutes of silence, sitting cross legged on my bed, with my ubiquitous cup of coffee, door closed and cell phone off, and tried to just listen.

I heard birds, trains, buses, clanking pipes from the plumbing supply place across the avenue, Jose the maintenance guy talking on his cell phone in Spanish (the office is below my window), and various other voices in the distance.

Tried to clear my mind and kept thinking about what I was going to write in my journal, and whether someday I will be able tp publish all my great, inspired writings. Talk about getting ahead of one's self.

Alternately, my mind kept wandering to the lyrics of the U2 song "Yahweh", which I suppose is a start.

Welcome to my new blog :)

2007-06-06T18:23:00.000-04:00

Figured I should make some sort of introductory post so this page isn't completely blank while I get my act together. I started this blog for the purpose of organizing my religious/spiritual scribblings.

If you're more interested in the fangirlish/fiction-writing side of me, feel free to check out my live journal.

Right. Let the possibly deep ramblings begin!